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[evidentiary]

kyouko kirigiri

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[evidentiary]

[ what the actual fuck ]

Do you have something in particular against turkey to be offering it to me?

I assume you must, unless your complaint is simply that the meat in question is dry. Which is admittedly reasonable.

[ sadly, the final line goes astray ]

[buncho]

turkey is inferior chicken, you cant even save it by battering and deep frying it, thats why theres no such thing as turkey nuggets

[evidentiary]

And someone is making you eat turkey against your will...?

[buncho]

its the school lunch menu! its either inedible stuff like turkey or carrot sticks or bagged milk that no one can poke through w a straw but they make great bombs if you throw them in the air

[evidentiary]

So you're trying to find a way to get rid of it?

[buncho]

yeah. let me dump this trash on you

[evidentiary]

I suppose that would be fine? If not me, I do have a cousin who would maybe help out...or lecture you.

[buncho]

help out or lecture are kinda very different
whos the cousin do i know them?

[evidentiary]

The cousin I'm referring to would be Byakuya Kirigiri. I do not know if you know him or not?

[buncho]

oh!! yea i do but..........i think he would lecture me if i tried to give him old turkey sandwiches

[evidentiary]

Yes...he doesn't like wasted food. Hm...well, I do think offering any unwanted food to college students usually works, really.

[buncho]

for smart kids, theyre pretty dumb sometimes, how come college kids dont just live with their parents and get fed forever?

[evidentiary]

Some are made to move out, I suppose? I have a friend like that. My own parents left the country.

[buncho]

i get getting kicked out of the house, but you kicked your own parents out of the country???

[evidentiary]

No, they decided to move abroad again after my high school education was complete.

[buncho]

why? recolles great, why would anybody ever want to leave?

[evidentiary]

Their jobs have always involved travel, for the most part. Staying here for the few years they did was the longest they'd ever been anywhere uninterrupted.

[buncho]

what sort of jobs? like business meetings and stuff? you can do skype conference calls anywhere in the world and still be in your pjs at home, you should tell them

[evidentiary]

I'll let them know. Is that your ideal type of job, then?

[buncho]

nah i want a job where i get paid lots and lots of money and i get to have fun all the time

[evidentiary]

Nothing immediately comes to mind, honestly.

[buncho]

what about a football player or paintball champ?

[evidentiary]

I didn't know paintball champ was a professional career, honestly.

[buncho]

it should be! people pay to challenge champs all the time, why not paintball?

[evidentiary]

I suppose you could set up that sort of challenge and see who takes you up on it?